I always try to stay very positive on this blog, but with the situation we’re currently in, things have been harder. (If I know you in real life, I DO NOT want to talk about this. That will just make me feel worse.)
For the past week, I have been really struggling with being on lockdown. I live alone, haven’t seen my boyfriend or my friends in more than five weeks (when I usually see them at least once a week) and most of my work had disappeared. I have the odd translation project come in and walk the dogs every day, but that’s it.
This means that, over the last few weeks, I’ve suddenly had a lot of free time. And I’m running out of things to do. Even things that I usually love to do, I have zero motivation for.
I live alone and can honestly say that I’m pretty good at being on my own. I like my own company and am (usually) more than happy to stay in. The thing I’ve been struggling with the most is the fact that I can’t go out, now. And the idea that life is going to be like this for who knows how many more months to come? Terrifying.
Today is Thursday (23rd of April, 2020) and just the thought of this upcoming weekend makes me want to burst out into tears. Because during weekends, I really don’t see anyone for two days. And everything I can think of doing, I’ve already done during the week.
I’ve never before struggled with mental health before all of this. And if this is how I’m feeling under lockdown, how must people that do struggle with their mental health be feeling? I’m very aware of how lucky I am – I live in a cottage with a large back garden and I can go outside whenever I want to. I even have people living right next door that would let me borrow their dogs if I get really lonely. But so many people don’t have these things. And my heart goes out to all of you. I wish I could do something for you. (If there is, you can always send me a message!)
I have signed up with Postcrossing (not sponsored), a service where you send and receive cards to and from people all around the world (this seemed the easiest way to wish people well).
If you would like to receive a card or know of a service that allows you to send anonymous cards to struggling people in the UK, please let me know.
We all have to do what we can during this horrible time.