In my life update from last week, I talked about how one of my goals for the rest of the year is that I want to hang out with people that make me feel good and happy. And more specifically, I no longer want to hang out with people just because they are in a similar situation as me. And I thought that point required a bit more of an explanation.
Everyone has expectations of the people around them. That’s just part of being human. And subconsciously, we try to fit into the role that people give us in their minds. Again, there’s nothing wrong with that. We all do it. Until it starts to make you feel like you can’t actually be yourself.
I hang out with a lot of people that I wouldn’t say I’m friends with, but that I do enjoy spending time with because they don’t expect anything from me. They just let me do whatever I want and allow me to be myself.
Last weekend, I went out with someone new, and she very clearly had certain expectations of me. I tried to meet those expectations, even though they were in complete contradiction to who I am as a person.
That doesn’t mean that she’s a bad person and that I didn’t enjoy hanging out with her. And I’m definitely not saying that it’s her fault I acted that way – I chose to try to meet her expectations, even if I wasn’t aware of it at the time.
Sometimes, you haven’t seen someone in a while, and you’ve changed. But you still expect that person to be the way they were when you last saw them. They expect the same and they try to put you back in the box that you used to fit in. And even if it doesn’t fit anymore, you try, because trying to fit is easier than trying to explain that you no longer fit into the box they want you to fit in. Does that make any sense?
Sometimes, the best thing you can do for yourself is to stop hanging out with those people. It might sound harsh – but if you don’t feel good about yourself because of someone else’s expectations, you should really ask yourself if it’s worth it to keep them in your life.