Things you should discuss with your host parents

There are au pairs in Aldershot that don’t actually talk to their host parents. They talk, but not about anything important. They discuss the kids, how they have been acting and what they have to do for school. And yes, that’s important. But you live in their house. You should also talk to them about other things.

A couple of months ago, I had a couple of friends over. After a few drinks, they asked my host dad things they didn’t feel like they could talk about with their host parents. They just didn’t feel comfortable asking them about these things. I’m glad they at least have someone they can ask these things, but they should really discuss this with the people it concerns.

Here are some of the things they asked (with answers!).

How would you feel if your au pair came home with a boy/girl

You are allowed to date. Okay, your host parents might not agree if you have a different boy over at the house every night, but a steady boyfriend should be allowed to at least come and visit you.

Do you think it’s okay for au pairs to smoke?

If you smoke, just tell the host parents. They won’t mind if they are smokers, as well. If they are against smoking, the worst they can do is make you go outside when you want a cigarette (which you should be doing anyway. Don’t smoke near the kids, people).

I don’t always feel comfortable in my house but I don’t want to tell the parents that…

If there is something you’re uncomfortable with, tell your host-parents. You live in their house and look after their kids. They want to keep you happy. One of my friends had to deal with a bathroom that didn’t have a lock. She walked in on her host mum a few times, and members of the family walked in on her while she was in the bathroom as well. She hated it and went out as much as possible just to avoid being there. This could have easily been solved by talking to them and asking them to put a lock on the door. 

Hope this was helpful! Have you ever been with a host family and had questions you didn’t know how to ask them? Comment them down below, and I will answer them with my host parents!




  1. miljance93mommysup
    17 December 2018 / 8:38 pm

    Actually, when I was staying at one woman’s house because of Uni duties 2 years ago, I felt discomfort all the time. This post is just on point, I love how you explained all the things!

  2. 17 December 2018 / 5:23 pm

    These are all definitely really good points to have with host parents. Thanks for sharing

  3. 17 December 2018 / 9:27 am

    These are definitely good things to speak with host parents before becoming an au pairs. It may not be easy, but it is best to be as clear as possible up front.

  4. Kimberley
    14 December 2018 / 7:06 am

    Lovely post loved the tips and ideas

  5. 14 December 2018 / 2:26 am

    These are great questions to ask a potential host family! I’ve considered becoming an au pair, so this is super useful. 🙂

  6. Subhashish Roy
    13 December 2018 / 4:00 pm

    Some very practical thoughts and suggestions which one definitely need to keep in mind when staying with hosts. Very useful it would be.

  7. Megan
    13 December 2018 / 1:24 pm

    Great points –– these seem like they’re definitely necessary discussion points as an au pair. I’m learning more and more about this every time you post!

  8. 13 December 2018 / 1:46 am

    This is great advice for people who are living with a host family or if you are the family hosting someone. I have never lived with a host family or been a host to someone. If I am ever either one I will keep these discussions in mind to have.

  9. 12 December 2018 / 5:46 am

    Good points. I lived with a host family for a while. I didn’t speak the same language as the parents though. The daughter / my peer had to translate everything. Now days, I would rather find a place alone than to feel like I’m stepping into someone else’s family life.

  10. dalleynedvm
    12 December 2018 / 2:47 am

    That is a good point to make sure you have these discussion if you plan to be an au pair. I am sure some people may not even think of these things.

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